[WP] “Son, I think it’s time for you to know that when you turn 18 an albino gorilla will come and beat you senseless. I don’t know why but it happened to me, it happened to my father, my grandfather, and his father as well. Nothing you can do about …

[WP] One day in Hell, as you are being swung around above a demon's head with a red-hot collar around your neck, you hit the ground. "Time's up," the demon says. "What?" "Time's up. It's been exactly an eternity."

[WP] As a being of pure energy, you’ve lived a thousand life times loved even more. Saddened by the death of your plant you place yourself into hibernation, only to awaken in a lab that has confined you. “Where am I?” You ask as a blaring alarm and red flickering …

[WP] "I think whoever put the rock 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 the stone should be king, not whatever chucklefuck pulls it out." "I assume whoever put "the sword that makes you king" into a rock doesn't want the position." "I think the rock should be king because it held the sword the longest."

[WP] As a Vampire, you applied for a job at a blood bank. you recognize the interviewer as a Fellow Vampire. who had the same idea as you.

[WP] In a deal with a fae, you must give up something you hold dear. Whether it be your name, your first born, or something else, it must be held dear. You, gave up your addiction. It worked.

[WP] your spouse is a wizard/witch and one day they come up to you and tell you they've been hiding their "true form" and decide to show you but instead of a dragon or Eldritch tentacle monster it's just them with a different hair color and more acne.

[WP] You are a VR game beta tester, and you've been trapped in the game with no log out or quit button. You've been trapped so long that you've forgotten about the real world, and that you're in a game world. But finally, someone manages to log you out.